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SPUK Yflf?ns 



FROM THE 



Full Reel 



DANIEL SULLIVAN, 

Ex-biar Liaureate to his Highness, i]r}e 
bate Baron Munchausen. 



A Record of Wonderful Things, 
By a Listener. 






"They icere so queer, so very queer, 
I laughed as I icould d/'e.''' 



CONTENTS. 

The Story of the Irish Tailor. 

Strange But True. 
The Marvels of Golden Hill. 












^^..<> 



T.lIIfS little book goes out to you. goiltle reader, as its own 
iutroduetiou and ju.stilieation. jf it be lucky enough to 
please you, well and good. If it be so unfortunate as 1o fail of 
funusenient. let this thought eonsole you : In its purchase you 
have doubtless doiie some good. And for your lack of anmse- 
inent, blame only hiin who tried with feeble pen to reproduce an 
original in whom is so mueh of the quaint and peculiai- tliat 
evenH:he mimic's tongue nmst oAvn <lefeat. 

I TllK LISTIONKK. 



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THE REELER." 



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THE STORY OF THE IIRISH TAlbOl^. 

"By Gar, ve can't bate th' Irish Th' littlest av 
em iss a match fur any other. I knew a little tailor 
in th' ould c(mnthry-M I ever tell you tli shtory 
av tlv Irish tailor f ' , i , 

The old man, I will call him "the Heeler, had 
di'opp^^d in on me, and as was his wont soon he-an 
to talk of his boyhood home and her people. 1 
saw in his remark the promise of a story, so I told 
him I had never heard of this tailor, but I hitched 
my chair a little nearer and listened. 

"Wael,'' he began, ^'this taihn- wass th' sun av a 
rich ointleman in th' wesht av Irelan'. E wass a 
bri-ht, shmart by, but some divil got in 'him, 'cause 
e shtop growin' phwin e wass nine year. Phwm 'e 
wass fourteen iss father say to 'im wan day, '.Tanuy,' 
e say, ^diwat th* divil's th' matter wi' yu ? Phy 
don't yu grow? Yon re tit fur nathin- but a tailor.' 
'All right, father,^ say Janny, 'I'll be a tailor.' So 
e take 'iss share av th' shildern's muney an' 'e travil 
all over Irelan" lookin' for a shop, but e didn't tin- 
wan to shuit im. An' e can't tin' only wan in Lun- 



dun. "E hire (nit there aii" u urk tliree year fur iss 
lujiHther. An' 'cause 'e wass s() shniall *iss luasther 
shate im in th" wurk. — give "ini no shance to h^arn 
it all. So 'e say, 'By Gar. I wont slitay here phwin 
my time is up.' 

''Wan (lay e luk out av the wind^^ an" e see a 
copper-color man cumin' up th' sthreet an" a crowd 
foUjn'n' "im. "E wint out wi" th' resht, an" e saw 
this big- man have a sign across iss shoulders an' "e 
read : Th" king- av th" Easht have a daughther. 
Any man can bate th' king- an tellin" wunders can 
marry th" daughther. But tirsht e muss' jump wan 
av th' king's harses over a gate fifteen feet high, 
and sliteel shpikes an top av th" gate six feet more. 
Any man that fail loose 'iss head. Bafore th" king's 
castle iss a tield av sixty acres planted wid sphears 
nine inches apart. An each av th' sphears Init 
three iss a head av a big, sthrong- man that fail. 
Any man that want to thry. let 'ini folly th' man wi' 
th' sign. 

''Phwin th' tailor read, e say, 'I'm yer man, 111 
go an" thry.* 'You ?" say th' copper-color man, 
'phy, th' king-'U be ashamed to let yu thry, you're 
so shmall, you miserable craythur." 'Wael," say tli' 
taih)r. 'never min", 111 go wid yu." 'Cum an, thin," 
say the l)ig man. "E tuk im to a ship in th' harbor, 
an' they sail fur that counthry in th' Easht. An" 
111" way th' copper-color, man tell th" tailor iss king 



want to kill oif all tli" big- men av other countliries, 
an" so *e take this way to do it. All th' min that 
fail an" loose their heads, fail in th" jump av th" 
o-ate, an" get kilt on th" shteel shpikes. 'I think th" 
gate is exehanted, an" widont a sliarm no wan oan 
jump it." 

"Wael, at laslit they land in that connthry, an" th" 
little tailor frum Irelan" wass brought to th' kitchen 
av th" kings castle. 'Here," say th' copper-color 
mail, *iss another cum aftlier the kings daughther. 
Luk at th" size av ini." Th' ould cook laif, but she 
say to herself, 'I like that little divil. Ill helji "im 
'f I can." Thin th" tailor wass brought afore th' ould 
({ueen an' her daughther. The queen say, 'Phwat 
yu poor little craythur I Yu tiny fur my daughther! 
Besht go home agin fur yerself.' 'Beggin" yer ma- 
jesty's pardon' say th" tailor, 'I'm here to thry." Th' 
ould queen say to herself, T"m tired av all this kil- 
lin". He'll have th" sharm." But th' daughther lali" 
an' say, 'Pliy, yu miserable little thing, I'd smother 
yu in th' breasht av my nightgown! But th" tailor 
shmile an" say, '8htill, me lady, I'll thry.' 

"So they brought im back to th" kitchin wance 
more, but e wont ate nathin.' "E wint to th' shtables 
an' see th" big harses. 'E wint to see th' gate wL' th' 
slipikes, an' e wint out an' luk at th' shpears an' 
shkulls. Th' sun wass low in th' wesht, an' shine 
an em an' th" light almost blin' 'iss e3^es. Way 



down ill th" far corner "e see three inipty slipears. 

"Phwin "e wint back to th' kitchen there wass two 
more min cum to thry for th' daughther. Big min, 
eight or nine feet tall. They wass atin' hut the 
tailor ate nathin' an' wint early to shlape. In th' 
mornin' phwin e wass goin" out to th' thrial av th' 
jump wi" th' others, th" ould cook cum to im an' give 
im a little vile, an" say, 'Put that in yer pockit an" 
yu can jump th" gate. It's frum th" ould queen; th" 
king dont know av it nor do th" daughther." "E 
tuk it an" put it in "iss pockit an" wint out w i" tli' 
otlier two. 

"Th" king wass up an a platform near th" gate wid 
a crowd aroun' "im. 'Lave th" tailor till th" lasht, "e 
say, 'Iss head'll luk well an th" lasht shpear." Tliiii 
wan av tli" big harses wass led out an' th" firsht a v 
th" ]»ig" min got an iss back an" made fur th" gate. 
Til" harse rise up an" clear th" gate but th" man cant 
kape iss sate, an" "e fall an th" shpikes an" get kilt. 
Outside av th" gate a butcher take th' l)ody, shop oil* 
iss head an" put it in a bilin" pot to soften th" Hesh 
fur cleaning" th' shkuU. Th" trunk wass dragged 
away an" give to th" dogs. Thin th" secon' big man 
tliry th" jump an' loose "iss head th" same way. 

*' 'NoAv fur th" th" tailor," say th" king an" they all 
lati". A third harse wass led out an" "e wass so poor 
an' sHcraggy "e can hardly shtan". Th" little tailor 
was)? so shmall "e have to be lifted an tU' harses 



back, an' places made fur 'iss feet in tli" stirrup 
slitrap. E wave iss lian' to tli" king, slilap iss harse 
an til" nick an" oo fm- tli' gate. An" by Gar. 'e junii* 
it clear an' tliin turn right aroun" an" jump it l)ack 
agin. Th" king ran hardly b"lieve 'iss eyes. An" 'e 
wass ]nad. "Wait till finorro," 'e say, "till I show yu 
my wunders. an" 111 have that head av yours jist th" 
same." 

'•So th" tailor loaf aroun" th* castle that day, anall 
but th" king make a grate dale av "im. Evin th" 
daughther begin to think well av "im. 

'•Th" nex' niornin" th' king sind fur th" tailor an" 
take 'im aroun" to show 'im 'iss wonders. They wint 
by th" field av skulls an" th" tailor see two av th" 
shi)cars that was impty "estherday, have grinnin" 
shknlls an "em now, an" wan impty wan Avass left fur 
"iss oAvn head. Th" king take 'im tirsht to iss Ijee 
hives. They cover fifty acres av Ian" an" th' rows of 
hives was four feet apart. Tlr king led th" tailor 
thro" it all an" show *im all th" niin at wurk takin" 
care av th' beese, an" thin 'e say, 'There, did yu ever 
see th' l)ate av" that r 'Yis', say th' tailor 'I have.' 
•Phwere r say th" king. 'Home in Irelan' say th' 
tailor. 'How it could be ?," say th" king. 

" 'Wael," say th" tailor, 'phwin I wass 1jout four- 
teen year I wass walkiii' 'long th" counthry road wan 
day, phwin a man an a harse came up to me. 'My 
b'y', 'e say, 'are yu any bit av a shcholav^' 'I anr, T 



8 

say. 'Wael', 'e say, 'iny stoord die estherday an' I 
have no wan to luk aftlier my beese. If you eaii do 
it yu can have th' phiee/ I say. 'Ill thiy", an then e 
tuk nie to iss dimain. "Iss bee hives cover Avan 
hnnderd acres an" th' rows av hives ^vass three feet 
apart. A lince fifty feet hi^h wass aroun" it all wid 
wan gate, an' at six in th' moruin' all th" heese wint 
out, an' at six at nig-ht thej^ all came hack. I have 
to keep thrack av ev'r^r wan av Vni in a hnk' phwiu 
they go out an''cuiii in» an' give m>' niasther a report 
Ijy a quarther [)asht six ev'ry night. Av coorse it 
wass a bit av a job. It kilt th' stoord. l)ut I shtau' 
it. Wau day they all go out iu th' mornin" an' I 
.sheck em all same's ev'ry day. 'Bout live o'clock 
in th' afthernoon they begin to cum back heavy wid 
liuney. Fur an hour I shtan" an' sheck em phwiu 
they cum in. At six they wass all iu but th" king av 
th* beese. I put my han' in my ])ockit an' take <uit 
a fourdave shamroag an' put it in m\' left ear, an' 
thin bin" to th' groun' an' listen. An" I hear th" 
king twinty mile away shtuck in a bog wid a load 
av liuney. I tuk my masther's harse an" a l)ig rub- 
ber bag an' go fur "im. Av cotn'se I ride hard "cause 
I didn't have much time. But I wint th" twinty 
mile, an" got th" bee an' a hunderd poun" av hi^^e^', 
wan days makin', an" wass back to my Uirtsthev'^ wid 
jny reiiort at a quarther [)asht six. 

•' 'Cum an yu miserable ])it av a Vfan; say th" king. 



9 

'I'll show yn soiuetliin' yu cant hate.' An' 'e tiik 
til" tailof to 'iss cabbage g'ardin. "Twass a l)ig- ,^ar- 
(liij. eighty acres iiia3d)e. Big miu wass wurkiii' cut- 
tin" down l)ig heads av cabbage. All over tli' field 
Mfiss big derricks fur lit'tiu' tli' heads, an' wagins wid 
four liarses drawin" wau head at a time, far 'iss army. 
An' tli' mill use hunderd })Oun* axes to sho]) down 
th" heads. An' th' heads grow so fasht that if th' 
min don't be quick th" ax shtick in th' shtumi) av th' 
cabbage. ^ 

Here I ventured the remark that it was a wonder- 
ful cabbage garden, and without the faintest sus- 
picion of a smile ''the Reeler* replied, ''Yis, it was; 
I wint thro" it phwin th" heads wass all cut down, 
an" I see some shtum[)s wi" three axes in "em. 

•'An' thin, " he continued, "phwin th' king show all 
this to th' tailor e say. 'There ! Phwere did yu ever 
see th' bate av that .'" 'At liome in Irelan,* say th' 
tailor. 'How it can be?" say tli" king. 

*' *Wael," say th' taiK)r. 'i)hwin I wass a little b'y I 
wint ev'ry Sunday to church wid my mother. Wan 
Sunday bout church time a big bag av win' cum 
u}) in th" silky an" eviy wan run to th' church to be 
out av danger. But th* priesht say, 'This church 
aint safe. Go out to th" cal)bage field back av th 
church an" lii<le under wan av th" laves av a cabbage 
plant." So they all wint out, an 'ev'ry wan in th' town 
wint toi^ether an' hide their heads under wan lave. 



10 

Th' Trin' shtorm came an' blew down buildin's right 
iiii left, but all th' people in th' town, three thousan' 
av 'em, wass save mider wan lave av th' cabbage. 

" 'Cum an', say th' king, 'I have wan more wunder 
to show yu. If yu bate that I'll give up.' An' 'o 
take 'im to 'iss bake house phwere 'e bake bread fur 
iss army. An" th' oven wass fifty feet wide an' two 
hunderd feet long, an' each bakin' make two hunderd 
loaves tin feet wide an' thick an' twinty feet long. 
An' 'e show im all 'iss min mixing dongh, an' greas- 
in' pans, an' tindin' ovens an' tires, an' 'e say 'I s'pose 
yu've seen th* bate av that f 'I have' say th' tailor. 
'An' in Irelan'?" say th' king. 'Yis,' say th' tailor. 
'Tell me av it,' say th' king. 

'* 'Wael,' say th' tailor, 'wan fall in my part av th' 
counthry all th' signs show there iss to be a big- 
drought. So all th' min fur miles an' miles aroun' 
have a meeting an' decide phwat to do. Up in th' 
mount 'ins they build a dam atween two hills. I 
don't knoAV how big a pon' it make but 'twass big 
enulf. Thin ev'ry man that own a cow bring it to 
th' pon' an' give three days milkin" to help fill it. 
An' by th' time 'twass full ev'rything wass dhry. A 
pipe wass laid frum th' dam to th' valley. Phwile th' 
dam wass l^uildin' two shteam ingines wass brought 
])y harses av th' min in th' dishtrict. These use th" 
milk to make shteam an' begin to grin" th' whate an' 
rye av all tJf farmers 'roun', Th" nun built a bio- 



11 

oven phwile tlidam wass l)ein'])uilt airtli'poii" filled. 
Twass made iu a side hill, an" th' oven part wass 
seviiity-five feet liigli an" wide, an' lia'f a mile long 
wid a doore at eacli iiid. Fire boxes Avass made an 
th' oi)en side wi' doores ev'iy twinty feet. A big 
pan Avass made frum all th' pans in th' dishtrict. 
TwasK fifty ivet Avide, an" thirty-five feet deep an' a 
ha'f mile long. A hundred an" fifty ^iin wass three 
weeks mixin" th" loaf, an' phwin it wass raise all th' 
harses they cud get wass a week draggin' it an rol- 
lers into th' oven. Thin th" (h)ores wass shut an th" 
fires lighted, an" th" loaf wass wan week bakin." Thin 
th" harses drag it to a saw mill elose by, run l)y th' 
two ingines. AVan av "em run th" saw big enuft* to 
cut th" loaf ijj shlices. an th' loaf wass fifty feet 
shquare. Th" other ingine run th' truck fur th' loaf. 
Each fam'ly cum ev'ry two weeks an' tuk wan shlice 
away in a two harse wagin. Phwin th" loaf wass 
ha'f gone, th" saw shtuck an' liint, an' out jump a 
V)a3^ harse wid phwite letters an "iss side that read 
'You Lie". 

''The Reeler"' paused a moment and then conclud- 
ed, "Wael, he win th' daughther, an' I guess 'e's 
there yit." 



ST.RANGE BUT TRUE. 



A few (lays later "the Reeler" was with me ao-ain. 
As usual he was iu a oomiiiuniealive mood and T 
easily induced liini to tell another story. 

"Thim wonders th' tailor tol' th' king*, I never 
saw," he remarked, ''so av coorse I can't shwear to 
'em. But I can tell yu av thiugs I know av, 'cause 
I seen 'em. Phwin I wass a b'y I live phwere all 
these things happin." 

I told him I would gladly listen and he l)egan : 

'•Lord Dunavin wass lord a v Roscari)erry an' JMiaul 
na Hahn. An uncle av mine wurk under th' gard' 
ner av 'iss dimain. Th' lord wass a grate thraveler 
an' very fon' aA' wunders in gard'nin'. 'Iss head 
gard'ner wass wan that cum to wurk an 'iss dimain 
phwin 'e wass a h'y, an' th' lord think a grate dale av 
'im, an' iss willin' to thrust 'im Avid anything. Wan 
fall Lord Dunavin Avass in th' south av France visi- 
tin' a fiien' av 'iss. The}^ Avass ha'f a dozin gintlemin 
there an' wan av 'em Avass an Inglish lord. Wan 
<lay tb' man av th' place show 'em 'iss gardin, an' tli' 
Inglish lord say 'e have a gard'ner can bate am'- 



13 

thing 'e see there or anything- 'e ever see. This 
make Lord Dunavin mad an' 'e say, 'I have a gard'- 
ner can bate yours an' I'll bet my wealth an' it.' 'I'll 
take yu an that', say th' Ing-lish lord, an' thin they 
wint to a I'yer an' make out th' papers. Th' two 
g-ard'ners wass to know nathin' av th' wager, an' each 
lord hire a man to thravil wi' th' other an' see that 
'e don't write anything- home 'bout th' wager. Th' 
fruits wass to be brought to Lundun an' jedge by a 
comitee av a fair. 

"Wael, th' loids se'prate an' thravil all th' winter, 
but airly in March th' Ing-lishman bribe Lord Dun- 
avin's watchman to let 'im write home. So 'e tell 'iss 
wife MV 'iss wager. She tell th' gard'ner to grow- 
some ])ig- wunder av 'iss fruits, an' thin she cross 
over to Irelan' an' go to Roscarberry an' see Lord 
Dmiaviu's gard'ner. An' she offer 'im a hat full av 
goold if 'e won't grow any big wunder fur 'iss mas- 
ther that Shpring. Yu see she furget that Lord 
Dunavius gard'ner don't know av th' wager. So 
'e sashpc'ct, bat 'e say 'I don't know phwat yer mane 
ma'am. Explain yerself.' 'Ax no questions' ; she say^ 
promise me yu'll make no gardin wunder an' I'll give 
th' goold.' But th' gard'ner take 'iss big hook knife 
an 'e say, 'I'll draw this 'cross my nick afore I'll sell 
my Lord Duuavin. Clear out now or I'll have th' 
mill drive yu.' So she lave afther doiu' her lord 
more harm than i^ood. 



14 

"Thin til' gard'iier think an' think hut 'e cjin't see 
[)hwjit's up, hut 'e make up 'iss niin' 'e'll grow th' 
l)ig'gist wunder 'e can. 'E make 'iss min clean out 
an ouhi hme kihi that wass huilt in a side hill 
Twas wan hundred feet dee)) an' 'hout lifty feet 
sliquare. 'E fill this wi' th' hesht sile 'e can get. an' 
thin 'e shtudy 'iss hooks fur two or three days, an' 
thin 'e deci(h^ 'e'll plant a phwite parshnip. Thin 'e 
go to Duhlin fur th' seed an' have to hunt a Meek 
afore 'e can tin' phwat 'e want. Phwin 'e get home 
'e soak th' seed in wan kin' av liquor an' another, an' 
thin 'e j^lant it in th' ould kiln. An' 'e give all 'iss 
time to it. an' 'e wather it an' docther it, an' it grow 
ev'ry day big'g'er an' bigger an 'iss care. 'E can't 
tell how deep th' root go, l)ut 'e know 'tissa big wan 
from til' size av th' laves. Thin phwin 'twass ready 
to pull 'e get a letther frum Lord Dunavin tellin' 'im 
'im to bring th' biggest wunder 'e grow that season, 
to th' fair in Lundun. By this time th' laves wass 
'l)out eighty feet high an' by diggin' they see th' 
head av th' parshnip wass 'bout eighteen feet througli. 
Av eoorse 'twass too big to pull so they take out 
wan side av tli' kiln an' shuvel away th' sile. an' they 
see th' parshnip reach way down to th' bottom avth' 
kiln an' twisht aft' two or three feet phwin it can't 
grow down any farther. Thin they rig up two big- 
derricks an th' hill 'bove th' kiln an' wid wan they 
lift th' parshnip out bj^ th' head an' thin wi' th' other 



15 

they take honld av it l)y tli' other iiid mh' lift ii 'till 
it hiiug levil in th' air. Thin they l)ring'tiii or 'levin 
big" wao-ins an' fashen 'em all together an' thin they 
let til' parsnip down an th' wagins. It take twinty 
harses to draw it to a ship made ready in th' linrlxn-, 
an' harses, wagins an' all go al)Oord. P]n\in tli' 
parshiiip wass bring- to Lundnn 'twass^+>hown at tli' 
fair wid another parshnip av th' Inglish hnd. ' Iss 
wass a color wan, ha'f pliwite an' lia'f red, mad<' l)y 
mixin' th' seed, but 'twass only tin feet long. Ho th' 
comitee give th' prize to Lord Dnnavin 'an 'e l)eggar 
th' Inglish lord. Phwin Lord Dunavin learn av th' 
attimpt to buy 'iss gard'ner 'e reward 'im by givin' 
'im ha'f phwat 'e win an' make a rich man av 'im. 

AVael, this gard'ner have a sun, an" Lord Dunavin 
like 'im a grate dale 'cause "e wass th' same age wid 
'iss own sun that die phwin 'e wass a little by. Now 
phwin 'iss father have so much muney 'e edicate 'iss 
sun, an' make a gintleman av 'im. Phwin 'e ain't at 
shchool 'e spind mosht av 'iss time in th' hunt. Lord 
Dnnavin in 'iss thravels pick up some hue breed av 
greyhoun" fur "im. 'E Ining home three av 'em an' 
give 'em to th" gard'ners sun. "E wass please wid 
'em an' th' tirsht chance 'e get 'e take th' three av 
'em out to hunt a fox. These dogs wass 'bout sevin 
or eight feet long an' tive feet high. It take a sliAvif t 
horse to keep up wi' th' dogs but 'e have wan can do 
it, a prisint frinn tli" lord. Th' fox this day led 'em 



16 

through a l)iiryiu* grouii' ini top av a hill that Ink 
out over th" say. Th' win" here blow ino.sht ahsays 
shtraigiit in fnini th' say an' blow like th" divil. It 
})low so hard it bhjw down th* grave stones. So th' 
[)eople put 'em up wi" th" edge toward th" win" an" 
shtill it blow "em down it blow so hard. Thin tlr 
people put taperin" edges an "em an' they stan". 
Wael, th' fox led th' houn's through this bury 
in" groun" an" wan av 'em wass hot an th' chase ladin" 
th" others, phwiu "e run agin th' edge av wan av th" 
shtoues wid "iss nose, an," by Gar, it cut 'iui in two 
ha'fs to th" tail. Th hunter jump frum iss harse an" 
phwile th' pieces wass warm *e clap 'em together, 
but 'e wass excited an" "e put th' head iud av wan 
ha'f wi' th" tail ind av th' other. "E tie "em Avid a bit 
a shtring from iss pockits. an," by (lar, th' houn" go 
an afther th' fox wid two legs up an two legs down 
like th' slipokes av a phweel, an' in a minit 'e pass 
th" other two houn's an" take th' fox. Afther this th" 
]iame av th' 'rollin* houu' shpread all over, ail' 'iss 
masther hunt wid im afore kiugs an" queens every- 
|>hwere. 'E keep "im over a year "till wan day in a 
hunt in th' Easht Indies "e loose "im in th" woods an" 
afore e can cum up to 'im a big lion ate im up. Iss 
masther kill tli' lion. l)ut th' "rollin" houn" wass g<me, 
an' e wint home to "iss father to Eoscarberry an" 
wud Imrdly shpake to anywan fur a niunth "«' wass 
so sorry fur iss dog. 



"AYael, aftlier a phwile 'o sa3^ 'I guess I'll settle 
(lowii fur uiysi'jf/ So e tell "iss father e want tu 
slitait fur iiijself an a farm some place. Iss father 
t^ive iiii niuuey eiiult* an' soon e have a big dairy 
farm in tli* nixt eounty. 'E take all iss own an' iss 
neighbors' butther to th' big market av Dul)lin fur 
betther prices. Afther a phwile *e think av a big 
harse iss father have that u'd be jist phwat 'e want. 

'"This wass th" biggist harsc^ I ever see. 'E weigli 
two tun an' a haf, an' 'e can \m\\ live tun an a levil 
an' "iss own weight agin a hill. "E ask iss father 
fur ini an "iss fatlier say, 'Yis, yu can have 'im." So 
"e have a wagin made tit fur "im an" "e use iui to 
carry th* butther to market. Th" harse wass shlow ; 
'e take three days an th" thrip. bout a hunderd an' tif- 
teen or twinty mih' in all, but th" masther like "im. 

"Th" masther have a habit av shtoppin" at ev'ry 
]ud)lic house an th" way fur a drink av beer or a 
shigar. an" wan day in shi^ort "e offer th" ould harse 
a taste av beer fruni "iss mug, an' afther that th' 
harse "u'd never go by a public house widout gettin" 
'iss drink av beei*. 

"Wan night an "iss way home frum Dublin th" 
masther shtop at a l)rew'ry 'bout haf way home to 
see a frien" that wass a boss there. 'E an' iss frien' 
get ])urty full togetlier. All at wance th" man hear 
'iss harse scjualin" outside, 'dive 'im some beer,' *e 
say, 'that's phwat "e want, I'm full an" "ell have to 



18 

be/ So tliey take out two five gallon tubs av beer 
an' tli' harse diiiik 'em clown, an' squale fur more. 
'Give 'im more," say iss mastlier, an' they give 'im 
two more, an" thin e have enufi*. Bout two hour 
afther th" man cum out wid 'iss lantern an' 'e fin' 'iss 
harse dead in th" road. It solder "im quick, but 
'twass no use. 80 e tell th* min to shkin 'im right 
there, an" thin bur}^ "im an' "e take th" hide home an* 
have it shtutf fur remimbrince. So th' brew'ry min 
shkin th" ould harse an" lave tlr body an a pile av 
waslite malt to bury it in th" mornin". Th' man 
hire two other harses at th" brewry an' reach home 
wi' th" hide th' nix' night 'bout twelve o'clock. "Iss 
slitable man met 'im at th' gate an" say, 'Praise th' 
^Lord, yer safe I didn't know phwat happined to 
yu. There's th" divils own sight in tli* shtable. Tlr 
ould harse cum home widout iss shkin." Th' mas- 
tlier run to see an" sure enufi', there a\ ass th" ould 
harse all in a shiver in iss shtall. 'Thin 'e wass onl}^ 
drunk,' say the' mastlier. 'Hurry now an' wake all 
th' min. an' kill me twinty sheep an" bring th' shkins 
here so quick's you can.' An phwin they brought 
'em, 'e tie 'em all an th" harse iihwile they wass 
warm. An* 'e break in th' head av a keg av beer *e 
bring fruni th' brew'ry, an* give th* harse drink fruni 
it. Fur three weeks 'e feed im so an th" l)eer, an by 
thin th' sheep shkins f ashen an *im an' th" wool begin 
to grow. An" afther a phwile 'e take "im out an' feed 



19 

'im an th" orass. an' ev'ry wan fur mile an' mile 
avonn' cmm to see tlr big- wnnder. In 'bout two 
munth e have a shearer cum to shear th' ould harse 
cause th' wool iss so long "e can hardly walk. Th' 
shearer wurk by th" day ; e get live hunderd poun' av 
wool th' firsht time. It grow fasther an' fasther till 
th" man have to build a hig store-houi^e fur it. Thin 
e think, 'I'll have a mill an" wave my own wool.' So 
"e build a three set mill an" run it fur a phwile. But 
th' wool grow so fasht "e can't kape up wid a three 
set mill, so 'e make it lugger, sevin set, an' that iss 
"])out th' right size fur th' wool th" ould horse give." 
Perhaps "the Heeler ' saw signs of incredulity in 
my face, for he stopped talking for a little while, 
drew a dee[) breath and said, "Tiss sixty year ago 
since I saw that harse an" mill. Th' man's sun iss 
runnin' it now. Oidy lasht fall "e write to me an' 
say f I cum over "e'll give me a job.'" 



THE MARVELS OF GOLiDEH HlLili- 

"Afther I toV yu that shtory 'estherday,' said -'the 
Heeler" next d;iy, ''I wass iniuded av a shtory T hear 
my father tell, eaiise some av its Ixmt a h;iist\ If 
yu have time to listen I'll tell it." 

"Wael," he resumed, after bein«' assured that T 
had ''all the time there was," ''in th' wesht av Irclan* 
near i)hAvere mj- father live phwin e wass a by. tliey 
wass a big- farm or plantation ealled th* 'gohlen hill." 
Twass eaUed s(> \-ause 'twass so rich in sile an' in 
]>h\vat ijrow there. Everything' wass big- jm; they 
wass lots av it. All th* piijs an* harses an" dunkeys 
tliat ever go asthray make fur th' 'golden hill.' 

"Wan shpring a farmer a few miles fruni there 
have a eolt 'bout a year ould shtray frum im. "E 
didn't luk fur im 'cause 'e know e will go to th" 
'golden hill." In th' fall 'e shtart out to luk fur "im. 
Phwin 'e get to th' plantation 'e see a grate dale av 
min gettin' in th' crops, an' 'e ask 'em if they see or 
know av iss harse, but none av 'em can tell 'im. "E 
walk an through th' fields an' woods 'till 'e cum to 
phwere a crowd av min wass wurkin' wid derricks 



21 

locidiii' pungkins an teams an" carryin' em away. 
'Twass a big field av 'bout fifty acres, an' wan imng- 
kin Avass a load fur a big, wide wagin wid eight 
I^hweels an' four liarses. Pliwile th" farmer wass 
watcliin" tli" min wurkin', thej^ put th" ropes "roun' 
wan big pungkin, ]>ut phwin they lift th" rin" break 
tlirough an' th' ropes c4ose 'roun' th' body av a harse 
that wass inside. Th" min luk "roun" an" they see a 
])ig hole wass ate out an wan side, an" th" inside 
w^ass all gone, an' this harse make a reg'lar barn out 
av it. Thin th' farmer see 'tiss "iss own harse, but 
so big 'e hardly know 'im. 

''Phwin th' lord av th" 'golden hill" see th harse "e 
buy it av th" farmer an' ket^p it fur "iss own. Afther 
'bout a year a king frum th" far easht thravibn" 
thiough Irelan' hear av th" harse an* want to buy 
'im. Th' lord say, 'I'll sell im to yu but I don't 
think yu can kape 'im. *E aint ho very big, — weigh 
'l)out a ton, — but 'e won shtay in any barn." 'I" 11 
t.ike my shances,' say th' king, an' "e buy 'im an' take 
im home. 'E have a barn made av shtone wid walls 
two feet thick, but th' tirsht night th" harse wass put 
in it, e kick a hole in th' side av it an' get out an" 
run away. 'Bout day-break e cum to th' say, 
an" "e jump in an' shwim all that day 'till 'bout tVmr 
o clock. Thin e cum to phwat 'e think is an islan' 
Hoatin" in tli' say. Phwin e climb an it to resht e 
wass seen by a say captain, an' that's how^ "twass 



known pliwat 'o done. But twass no isbm", but a 
liio- sun tisli shleepin'. E wake up phwin tli" liarse 
o-et an "im, an slitart to shwini like tli" divil an' don't 
shtop till "e cum to tli" weslit coast av Irelan*. 
Phwin tlr harse see tli" Ian" "e knoM it, mu" *e juni]) 
afi' an" sliwim ashore an" "O back ai^in to th' 'o-olden 
hill' 

*'Tliey wass lots av wunders an that farm. Wance 
an a moonlig'ht ni<^"lit th" stoord's sun see a meetin" 
av shnails in n mowin" lot "bout a mile fruni th" 
castle. Th" divil knows phweie they all cum frum. 
They cover all th' i^rass in th" lot, a shmall mowin" 
lot av "bout tliirt\' acres. They wass all sizes frum 
th" littlest to thim big enult' to carry a good size b"y 
an their back. An' th' ould masther av "em all, th' 
big shnapper shnail, wass so ))ig'iss horns wass 'bout 
sevin feet long. *E wass so ould e cant climb, an" 
phwin 'e w^ant to get an top av a big shtone in th" 
lot 'bout thirty feet high, tli" resht av "em pile up fur 
"im an 'e crawl an tlitdr V)acks 'mosht a quarther av 
a mile. Phwin *e get up there "e make a speech to 
th" resht, an" thin "e (mm down th" same way. Av 
coorse, th' stoords sun don't know phwat "e say, l)ut 
"e see 'em all lave th" lot in threes an" afther that 
night three shnails always live in th* wan hole. 
Before that they nesht many's they like tog'ether. 
So they say th' ould shnapper shnail make a new 
law fur shnails that night. 

LofC. 



23 

"Th' 'golden liilV have a piece av AYoodlan' an it 
phwere great, big threes grow. They wass so big 
they c'udn't be handled Vjy th' lord's niin, 'an *e have 
to Ink ronn" for a gint. "E hear av wan that live 
near th" ingle, th" beach, av Inthry harbor. 'E go 
to see un an' hire "im to cnm an' wurk fur 'ini shop- 
pin' down an" wnrkin" up 'iss big threes. That wass 
])lr\vin ni}^ father wass a b'y an" 'e tell me av this 
gi"nt. "Iss mother wass Irish an' 'iss fatlier cuju 
frum th" shtock av th" Danes, an' way back wan av 
'iss people wass a big gi'nt. Pliwin 'e wass sevin 
year "e Avass sevin feet tall, an' "e an" "iss mother 
thravil over Irelan" showin' "iniself. "E wass back 
home phwin th' lord hear av im. "E wass twinty- 
two year old an' *e have all iss growth, twinty feet 
tall. 'E weigh bout sevinteen hunderd poun". 

'*Th' lord av 'golden hill" ht "im out wid boots an" 
clothes unule av shkins. Th" besht av twelve ox 
hides wass in 'iss boots, an' 'bout tin poun" av nails. 
"Bout a hunderd sheep shkins make 'iss coat an" 
pants. "Iss ca}) take two seal shkins. But th* biggist 
job wass to luake an ax shtrong enutt* to hold to- 
gether pliwin "e shwing it. Th" blacksmiths wurk a 
week an" th" tirst wan. "Twass three hunderd poun" 
weight an" titted to a w ooden handle. Tli" gi'nt take 
it down to th' beach to thry th" shwing av it. *E 
wade out to 'iss hips an' tell th" people to keep 
away. Pliwin "e shwing it th" handle break aft' an' 



24 

til' blade go out to say an' shop aff tli' raashts av a 
full rig ship. Th' lord av 'golden hill' have to |>ay 
th' damage, an" 'e have another ax made. This wan 
\v(^dgh iive hundred poun' an' an iron handle i)nt in 
it. But th' gi'nt hreak it th' same Avay jdnvin 'e 
sliwing it, only this time th' blade shtrike th" side av 
a sliip an' th' min an boord hardly have time to get 
away afore she sink. Th' lord have to pay th' dam- 
age agin an' thin 'e make another a.\. This timi; 
'twass sevin hunderd poun' in th' blade, an' a hun- 
derd in th' iron handle. Phwin' twass made, a ])<>at 
take 'im an' th' ax to an' islan" 'bout three mile out 
an' e thry th' shwing av th' ax there. An' it shtan' 
th' thrial all riglit. But phwin 'e shwing it 'roun' 
"iss head it go so fasht that it make a reg'lar hurri- 
cane in th' harl)or. Boats wass blown agin wan an- 
(►ther an' snmshed an' sunk, an' all th' say gulls fur 
iive mile aroun' wass kilt by tli' force av th' win'. 
Nixt day they wass all wash ashore an' ev'ry fam'ly 
ill town get feathers enough fur a feather bed. My 
father get wan an' I shleep an it many a time. 

•*I cud tell you more av that gi'nt but I hear a 
|)hwistle blowin' an' I musht go to dinner." 

And s(» ''the Reeler" left me. 

^RESS P«INT, STAfFORO SPRINGS. CONN, 






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